Hi, I’m Shani

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that.

Single Women Don't Have Mom Groups

Single Women Don't Have Mom Groups

Before launching my podcast, because I knew nothing about launching podcasts, I consulted my very wise friend Jessica Murnane. She suggested, among other things, that I start a Facebook group for my listeners. At first, my selfish ass was like…oh, great—another promotion channel for new episodes. Then as people actually started joining the thing, I realized…my god, this is a gathering of women who are just like me. That has never happened to me before.

This Facebook group is potentially so much more than a social media channel. It’s a place to gather with women going through similar situations, and connect with, support, and comfort each other. This shit is mom group.

I am not a mom, and am thusly not part of any mom groups on Facebook or other platforms. But I love them, I love that they exist, and it’s incredibly rare that I have a friend who’s a mom who isn’t part of at least one of them. These things are incredible! Linking up mothers and parents in close proximity to one another and creating a space to share information, advice, and resources. It’s genius! I don’t want kids but I certainly want the digital group hug that is a mom group, I can promise you that.

So what about the single girls? Where is our group? Where is our space to connect, commiserate, and support each other through a part of life that is difficult, confusing, frustrating, and exhausting? Moms have spaces for this, we deserve them, too. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but being single can be a pretty isolating situation—and the older you get, the more that’s true.

Every single woman needs more friends. I’ll say that out loud. The need for friends that understand what we’re going through (whatever our situation) is so real. Perspective provides an instant level of connection and trust, and it’s so hard to fully grasp perspective of a situation unless you’re living it.

And here’s the thing about single girlfriends: We lose them. They partner. They marry. They really do join those mom groups. And while they’ll always be our friends, our situations and perspectives are now very different. Your supply of single girlfriends is the only one with a hole in the bucket. Don’t be upset that your friends found partnership. Just keep refilling the bucket.

I realize now that the Facebook group for A Single Serving Podcast has the potential to be a space that can really benefit single women. Not one centered around dating advice (because I can’t with that shit anymore) but a space to talk about literally anything, everything else. The things that happen to us that no one else sees. The things that interest us, the situations that occur and the moments when we could use a little backup. I made a mom group for single girls and I’m really excited about it.

If you’re single (and even if you’re not, just know we’re kind of on-topic around here) I welcome you to connect with this group and each other. The need for community, whatever your community, is very real, and I hope I can encourage more of it.

Meeting new friends in real life is really daunting, I fully understand that. And while I agree that placing a screen in between ourselves and real connection isn’t the most meaningful idea, I will say that connecting via social media, and in a group setting, provides an extra bit of courage and comfort that maybe single women need right now. I certainly do.

Join the Facebook Group.

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