I’m the host of A Single Serving Podcast and the author of A Single Revolution. I’m changing the narrative around being single, because so far it’s had pretty bad PR. I’m not an advocate for singlehood. I’m an advocate for women feeling good while single—there’s a difference.
shanisilver@gmail.com
If the words below are how you’d like to feel about your own life and singlehood, join my Patreon and become a part of the most supportive and loving community, ever.
“Thank you for giving us a voice and helping me restore my dignity.”
“Shani makes me look at being single in a completely different light. After listening to the first episode I was hooked. I feel empowered and appreciative of my single life now, instead of sad and embarrassed. Every time I finish an episode I send it to one of my single girlfriends, saying “no this was the best one, you’ve got to listen!” Thank you for switching the narrative on single life and helping me feel less alone, Shani.”
“Finding your works about life in the single space has changed me. I don't, and have never had, other singles in my inner circle. And as a result I have always felt unseen and 'wrong.' Through your work I FINALLY feel valid and seen and have hope that I can live, not just survive, my singlehood. Thank you thank you thank you for creating this community. It is changing the way I go through the world.”
“Hi Shani, I can't tell you how much I appreciate how you addressed the recent listener question about society saying that a single person's death isn't "as sad" as a partnered person's death and/or someone with family. When you talked about the beauty that you find in all of us out there living alone and how we go about creating our lives, I cried. It comes from not hearing ourselves described as beautiful, like hardly ever. I didn't even realize how not hearing myself or other single people described as beautiful was actually affecting me. I always hear people talk about how so-and-so has a "beautiful family." Probably 10 out of 10 partnered people who know that I just bought my own house have said to me, "that's a big house for one person." Or, "aren't you afraid of living alone in that big house?" My answer to them is always, "I love it." And it's true that I love how I've set up my yard and inside my house. But it takes real effort to hear things like that said by couples or people with families living with them and reframe it for myself every damn time. Just knowing that you see the beauty in how we are living as single people means so very much to me.”
“I feel seen and validated. If nothing else, it gave me hope that there are other people out there who are happy being single but certain that one day, you'll meet a partner. I've quite literally NEVER heard your point of view before and have spent so much time beating myself up and trying to figure out what is "wrong" with me.”
“Hi Shani. I'm listening to your podcast for the first time in almost three months. First, hearing your voice again is such a delight. I find it very soothing and calming. Second, the first 20 minutes of this episode - Poisoned Gruel - are so perfect and reassuring and comforting. I love how you keep reminding us that no one in a relationship is ultimately right and no one who is single is ultimately wrong. And you do it in such a simple yet powerful way. This line is my favorite: "Being single is amazing and being in a couple is amazing and being single sucks sometimes and being in a couple sucks sometimes." Anyway, I am very happy I was able to hear your words today. You are such a positive force for good. Thank you for your time and effort and dedication.”
“Your podcasts speak so much to me! It’s like talking to a friend, mentor, therapist and life coach all in one (not to mention you understand what we are going through). You speak and write beautifully. Thank you!”
“What a smart, caring and authoritative episode, my god. I absolutely LOVE how you turn the critical spotlight on partnerships, especially marriage. "I don't think partnered people necessarily have it better than singles" YES!!! Shout it from the rooftops!!!”
“Thank you for all your work. I listen to every Single episode while drawing my graphic novels. It makes me happy and gives me peace. It helps me to love my life and myself even more than I already do, and to accept my desire of a relationship even though I love my freedom more than anything. Thank you!”
“The book felt like a hug. I felt seen. I love that Shani knows what it’s like, what the reality of being a single woman is like in this day and age, and just doesn’t stand for it, and gives an alternative to standing for it. It’s so nice to hear that we don’t have to be fixed, that we don’t have to ‘work on ourselves’, that we can and should be our authentic selves and celebrate that. So thank you so much Shani! I dread to think of what life would be like had I not discovered your work, there would have been so much more shame and pressure and sadness. I’d rather be happy and comfortable with myself, regardless of my relationship status.”
“Shani, you really have no idea how your words in the last two years have had such a powerful, positive impact in my life. During the hard months of the pandemic, and during the end of my relationship, I felt encouraged by your voice. I found a greater sense of self, I rediscovered strengths in me that I thought I’d lost, and now I can see myself enjoying all things, big and small, in large part thanks to you. By the success of your podcast and your book, it’s obvious that I’m not alone in this, and that many other women are also feeling more confident and happier in their singlehood. I’m looking forward to reading, listening, and taking in all the good things you’ll keep on sharing with us.”
“I love the podcast so much, but I’m writing all this to say that the article you wrote, “Single Girls Get the Couch” had such a profound effect on my views toward being a single, adult woman in this world, both in acknowledging that it’s the little things like that that highlight how being single as a woman, particularly in your 30’s, is treated, but how I was the single woman who believed I didn’t deserve an actual bedroom because I’m single. That shift in thought has been so significant for me, and it’s a work in progress, but especially over the past insane years, your writing and podcasts have been life changing in the best way. Thank you so much!”
“I’ve not met any other women who talk about singledom the way you do (except for me, inside my own head!!). It’s SO refreshing & validating. Thank you for everything that you do!! I’m looking forward to being a part of the community. xx”
“Shani you are amazing and I thank you for every Monday. I especially connected with todays episode and for the first time ever I have completely deleted my dating apps. Not just logged out or removed them off my phone but they are gone. So thank you 😊 🙏🏼”
“Let me just say that you've changed my views on being single. Thanks to you, I'm off apps, I see this single time in life as a true gift now. I was so living in the past (with partners) and in the future (when I may be partnered again), and then thought...but what about NOW?! Much of that shift is due to you and your podcast. Thank YOU. I'm a 44 year old woman and am fully embracing all that being single affords me. IT'S AMAZING! What a shift in the last 6-8 months. Bliss. You're amazing and your message is so needed. SO NEEDED.”
“You and your work are such a gift and a blessing, and you have made a profound difference in my life. My being the most happy and content I have ever been at 40 (esp. considering how stressed out I was for most of my 30s because I was single) is largely because of you and all the single positive content you continue to create for the world. Please never stop!”
“I just want you to know how much your podcast, website and the Facebook group has done for me in terms of working on taking away single shame and your podcast especially as that weekly reminder that single life is just as valid and 'normal' as any other way to live your life. That marriage and children are not the ideal we should all be reaching for, even though that's what has been drummed into us (especially women) since we were children. I'm so thankful that I found you and your podcast, and the way that you and your guests' different perspectives have helped to deconstruct long held beliefs and reframe single life in such a positive way. I have listened and re-listened to your podcasts while assembling furniture and while on walks discovering my new surroundings. Instead of feeling sad that I bought a flat on my own (instead of a house with a partner, which is what I was waiting around for), I am proud that I have done this all by myself, and saved hard enough to afford a place with an actual guest room from where I am typing this email! I can decorate the flat the way I want and have the freedom to do what I want, when I want to. And it is your reassuring message, that this isn't giving up on the desire for partnership but enjoying my single life while I have it and forging ahead with the things I want to do, regardless.”
“I wanted to thank you for the work that you do. I look forward to Monday morning purely because I know that I have a new episode of A Single Serving waiting for me. I’m 37 and have been single my entire life, which can feel lonely sometimes. Listening to your podcast makes me feel much less alone.”
“Thanks for being a strong voice for 30+ single people. I've actually shared your articles with my parents who are doing their best to understand the new world of dating (but got married at 20/21 so it's just never going to happen.) So they say thank you too.”
☆☆☆☆☆ I first found Shani Silver’s work through a Medium newsletter that featured an article about how horror stories are the dating norm. Her writing was so relatable, bold, and thoughtful, so I emailed her and found her podcast. This podcast is a godsend for singles from all walks of life. It empowers us to be happy individuals and gives tools for hard conversations (who hasn’t had the “Why are you single?” talk?). For anyone reading, even if you’re in a relationship or situationship, please listen to this. Slowly but surely, you will learn a great deal about modern love and how to decenter it and center your individual experience, boundaries, and dreams. It’s such a holistic approach and the guests cover a wide range of topics and careers. LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST! My friends are all hooked. If I don’t see this podcast featured on the “Best of 2021” lists, I’m gonna be writing some emails!!
“When I discovered your podcast, my whole perspective on my life had changed. I loved how you had so many different guests on your podcasts and showcased people that were single and just going about their lives and able to talk honestly about their single status. As someone who really wants a relationship, your podcasts made me feel so a lot better about myself and my situation. I've learned to look at life in a different way and not wait for a partner to come around to do the things I want. I'm currently planning my first solo trip and looking into adopting a new exotic pet. I'm also not feeling as ashamed anymore whenever the topic of dating/relationship comes up. I feel like a brand new person.”
“Longtime reader/ listener and I just wanted to offer you my highest compliments. I'm also an elder millennial (haha) though I am not single- I have a partner and a young son. At first I was confused as to why I was so addicted to your content and writing... shouldn't I be reading any of the myriad articles about how hard it is to be a working mother/having it all/keep things spicy in my relationship? (Spoiler alert: I have read almost all of them and shit's still as hard as it has ever been).”
“I'm a single woman living in Denmark, 32 years old. I just had to write you a little message saying how much you've inspired me! You've put into words and actions many of the thoughts I've had about single life. How it's so important to not just be living it as if in a permanent state of waiting, always chasing after a relationship.”
“Thank you so much for articulating and promoting another way of seeing and living single life. What you're doing is so important as an antidote to all the messages we constantly recieve saying that being single is a little bit sad and a little bit 'not enough'. YOU ROCK”
“Hi! I just wanted to write to you to share this! You’ve really had an impact on my life. I’m 42 and very single and before your podcast I found my way to being happy with my single life and the perks it gives me but I never got to a point where I felt I had hope for a relationship. You’re helping me change my hopeless mindset. ”
“Thank you so much for putting all the work out there that you do! I actually need to message you from my "equestrian" Instagram so you can see part of what your work has helped me build in my life. I rode a lot growing up and always wanted to compete in jumping but my parents were against it. Last year I got the courage to go back to it and finally give it my all and I've accomplished so much already and it's been such a joy in my life as I'm dealing with the purge of friendships and bad dating. Your podcast helped give me the courage to change my life and really do something I'm passionate about.”
“You are reaching an audience that has needed you!”
“A Single Serving Podcast has really encouraged me to continue to be a go-getter and strive for what I believe to be important in life. I just really wanted to say thank you and that you are ridiculously brilliant! I've actually never emailed anyone I don't know before either, unless I was applying for a new job so thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone.”
“I've been single my entire life, not for lack of trying to find a partner, and have never felt that anyone really gets how I've been feeling about it until I started reading your articles. I sent your first article to the therapist I've started seeing to try to deal with the feelings of shame and hopelessness and wrongness that I've been feeling for years and told her, "This is how I want to feel." I've never really believed that I could get there until I found your posts.”
“I have been a subscriber from the beginning. No idea how I found you - and I simply want to say thank you! What you are creating is the feeling of empowerment and community for women who often don't feel seen, heard and validated. As a woman who has traveled her own journey accepting my life and all of it's glory as it is... I appreciate the your voice, your honesty, your vulnerability... all of it. Thank you!”
“I listened the other day to an episode of your podcast where you discussed that who you are when you are single is so important because that person will outlast singledom, and it's absolutely true. The years between wasting my time with a toxic narcissist and uniting with my life partner were some of the rawest, most exhilarating times of my life. I danced so hard I passed out, I drank an entire bottle of wine from my bed, I traveled the world, I bought an AC to survive a heat wave and returned it when it was over, I doubled my salary, I haggled and bought a car as a single woman, I lived on my own. I felt so grateful for the privilege to be solo and independent that none of my female ancestors before could have had. I am still that woman and I am so grateful for her.”
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