How Singles Are Set Up To Settle
I need to talk about settling. Every now and then, a new message…perhaps like this one, comes along and tries to “teach” single women how to partner up faster by lowering expectations and taking what we can get. The implied assumption there is that singleness is wrong, and that wrongness further assumes that we’re sabotaging our own future relationships by having expectations that are too high. This is, frankly, bullshit. Singleness doesn’t equate with wrongness, or with wanting more of life than we deserve. We are not lesser beings than people in couples. It’s very important to understand that.
When we stop seeing single as something bad, there’s literally no reason to settle at all, because we don’t “need” to. We don’t “need” to find a faster route to partnership, if single isn’t something we have to run from. We are allowed to take our time (or maybe we connect with our partner tomorrow, who knows!), and keep our real desires intact. Dating culture is really good at teaching us how to lower (and lower and lower) our self worth, and our expectations. Don’t let it. You don’t have to.
