Hi, I’m Shani

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that.

Really Low Carb Chocolate Chip Cookies

Really Low Carb Chocolate Chip Cookies

I really love baking. I find it relaxing and in general it’s one of my anti-anxiety hobbies. However, fuck carbs. In an effort to rid myself of an addiction to flour tortillas and quinoa-based pasta, I’ve adopted a lower carb lifestyle, and unfortunately I’m really liking it.

When my most recent chocolate chip cookie craving hit, I decided to do some research and formulate a recipe for really low carb chocolate chip cookies and hope for the best. The best is precisely what I got. Below, my recipe for genuinely DELICIOUS chocolate chip cookies. I have never written a recipe entirely by myself, so this is cool.

There are eight, literally eight net carbs in the entire batch of batter, which makes 12 cookies. (You’ll notice there are only 10 in the photo for obvious reasons.) A few additional carbs come in the form of the goddamned chocolate chips themselves, but I’ll live with that.


  • 1 cup almond flour (I use Anthony’s)

  • 4 tablespoons coconut sugar (I use Nutiva)

  • 1/8 teaspoon baking powder

  • pinch of sea salt

  • one egg

  • 2 tablespoons almond milk

  • 2 tablespoons vegan butter, basically melted

  • splash of vanilla

  • chocolate chips (amount based on preference)


  • preheat oven to 350 degrees or whatever that is in celsius

  • mix dry ingredients together in one bowl

  • mix wet ingredients together in another bowl

  • pour wet ingredients into the dry ingredients, and mix

  • add chocolate chips

  • spoon batter onto a lined and greased cookie sheet

  • note that whatever shape the batter is in when it hits the tray is how these bad boys are going to turn out. there is no spreading of the batter

  • bake for 13 minutes

  • let them cool completely before eating, but you can Instagram them sooner if you want

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