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Hi, I’m Shani

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that.  

shanisilver@gmail.com

The $20 Solution For My Smelly Apartment

The $20 Solution For My Smelly Apartment

The general contractors in charge of building the dwelling I currently live in thought of everything. Perfectly carved out refrigerator nook, sleek, modern black faucets and finishings. They did not however ponder, at any time, the need for ventilation. I have no fan over my stove, no vent in my bathroom, nothing. If I want to circulate fresh air into my home I have to throw open the windows like we’re in 17th century Paris. And since said windows have no screens, I am terrified of both a) the ingress of winged pests into my home and b) the egress of my cat to her death from a 5th floor fall. What I’m saying is, it smells in here sometimes.

If I had my way, my home would smell of fresh laundry 100% of the time. There are, of course, $65-$100 candles I can purchase that will make my home smell like Marie Antoinette’s earlobes if I so choose, but I don’t really fancy squandering my travel budget on melting wax. This has led to a three month search for a scented candle that is all of the following: freshly scented with linen, potent and effective, really, really cheap.

Friends, I’ve found it. After a lengthy Etsy search that essentially just turned into a deep dive for Halloween-themed candles with the word “haunted” in the title that was not at all productive, I happened upon this candle on, no surprise here, Amazon. It is made by Lulu Candles whoeverthehell that is, and has over 1,900 ratings with an average of 4.5 stars. It is strongly scented (in a good way) and comes in at a very palatable $19.95. It is also not ugly, which is a huge bonus.

I’ve already purchased this candle three times, and I find that it lasts me about ten days. (I typically have one burning throughout my workday.) There are other scents, including those called “Pretty Woman” and “Sexy Man” which I have not tried but would love to hear about from someone who has, but i’m sticking to Fresh Linen because it makes the most scents (I’m a comic) to me right now.

When cool weather actually shows up for the season instead of just poking its head out of its gopher hole and then letting all 80 degrees continue to hang out at the party for far too long, I’ll be switching to Thymes Frasier Fir through the holidays. It’s a little pricier than my everyday linen option but I make an exception because it’s quite possibly the best candle that exists. These 6.5oz tin options are a decent size and an affordable way to try it out if you never have before. They’re $19.50 and quite frankly worth double that. I won’t be messing around with the little guys this year, I’m buying the three-wick, 17oz option and I’m going to have myself a merry holiday indeed. If you do love a good Christmas tree scented candle in winter, know that these tend to run very low in stock the closer to the holidays we get. Seriously, they’re that good.

But for now it’s clean, fresh linen for me, because as much as I love meal prepping my absolutely scrumptious scallion meatballs for the week ahead, I’d prefer if my home didn’t perpetually smell like them.

Buy it on Amazon

*Affiliate links are used in the post above.

Podcast Episode: Unf*ck This Podcast With Kara Loewentheil

Podcast Episode: Unf*ck This Podcast With Kara Loewentheil

I Saw Downton Abbey And I Need To Be Held

I Saw Downton Abbey And I Need To Be Held

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